The following thoughts are in conversation with this article.
49 ‘I came to bring fire to the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! 50I have a baptism with which to be baptized, and what stress I am under until it is completed! 51Do you think that I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division! 52From now on, five in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three; 53they will be divided:
father against son
and son against father,
mother against daughter
and daughter against mother,
mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law
and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.’
__________
This portion of scripture does not sit well with those of us who want to claim Jesus as the “Prince of Peace”. Yet it seems right, as a Christian, to start with Christ’s ultimate claim on our life when we enter into the topic of family. In beginning with Jesus Christ, the family becomes framed as an institution that is to come under the Lordship of Christ. Therefore, the basic questions for me become not only “What is the family?” but also “What is the family to a Christian?”
Given the above, my starting definition of a family is as follows:
Family – a supportive and formative group of people that are created either through a common biological lineage or covenant and are meant to learn and practice the worship of God through their relationships with God, each other and the world.
Why this Definition?
Some things that I believe commend this definition are…
- It is open enough to include family structures that do not fit the “nuclear family” model.
- It recognizes the primacy of Christ’s claim on our life revealed through the Church.
- It acknowledges the chief aim of the family which is why I believe Christians affirm the institution as a means of grace.
- It is informed from my experience of the church as a family.
Some things that I believe are a disadvantage with this definition are…
- It seems too vague. One could be confused if I am describing the church or a “domestic family”.
- It may be viewed as being sectarian.
- It is not informed by multiple disciplines and relies totally on theological and experiential knowledge.
My Own Struggle with the Definition
I struggled with wanting to place the word “primary” at the beginning of the definition. However, I read Jesus’ claim on our life as disciples and recognize that the “primary” group, understood both as first and principal, may disrespect that claim of Jesus.
Yet my experience of the “domestic” family tells me that they have been first. My mother and father were one of the firsts ones to welcome me into this world. They have been the principal group which has supported me emotionally, mentally and physically for most of my life. And so I struggle with not recognizing my kin as being “primary.”
Moving Forward
So this is only the beginning of my reflections on family. I am going to be working through some material in the next couple of months that I hope will expand my understanding of the family. However, I would like to hear any thoughts you might have about these beginning reflections.
How does this definition of family fit with your understanding?
What are your thoughts on the article by Hampton and Hayse?
What articles, books or resources have shaped your thinking on family?
